All of us wake up in the morning with a question that we need God to answer or else we're gonna have everyone else throughout our day try to answer it for us.

~ Alan Johnson, Signpost Inn Podcast ep. 107 “Faith is more than intellectual consent”

I was sitting in my office, editing the podcast when I first heard this line from Alan Johnson. It resonated so strongly I had to pause my work and just let it sink in for a few minutes. I often wake up with an unconscious weight on my shoulders and Dr. Johnson helped me understand that feeling is connected to the core questions of life.

Who am I? Am I enough? Am I loved? Do I have what I need?

Unfortunately, I often push past the uncomfortable feelings and deny God the opportunity to answer these questions for me. As I go through the day looking for answers elsewhere, I easily take the bait on anything that offers me a blueprint for securing myself. The bait usually centers around one of the three core lies.

• I am what I do (security through job/role)
• I am what I have (security through possessions/titles)
• I am what others think about me (security through external approval)

Whatever bait gets me on the hook, they all lead to the creation and propagation of the false self. The false self is the person I believe I need to be in order to grab hold of security.

Now, pursuing this false self is completely natural for me as a fallen human being. Waking up and feeling a vague, undefined sense of insecurity is unbearable. Of course I’m going to chase after this or that, trying to satisfy my need for security! In this way, we can view the false self with a measure of compassion.

Understandable as it is, the false self must be dealt with, for it endangers my soul. You see, the false self is false because it is essentially a denial of reality. It answers my core question with a lie. The foundational belief that I need to secure myself is a lie! My need for security and acceptance is real and true, but it’s the “I need to secure myself” piece that departs from reality.

The truth is that my security is found in God.

When I bring my question to God, he answers me, “You are my beloved child, in whom I am well pleased.”

God loves and accepts me, the real me. If I embrace the false self and live in denial, I will never be able to consent to his real, present grace and love. If I am continually striving to secure myself, how can I consent to the security and acceptance that Jesus offers me?

And so, in Jesus’ fierce love for the real me, he sets about to destroy my false self. And really, the false self ends up destroying itself, for it chafes against reality and the fragile fiction crumbles to pieces. In God’s great love for me, he simultaneously opposes my false self and embraces my true self. He removes my idols and false sense of security so that he might instill the lasting peace of being his child.

[[name]], to whom have you taken your question in search of security? Will you join me in taking a moment to bring our question before God? Let’s take a deep breath and consent to the beautiful reality that we are beloved children of God. Amen!

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