That’s it. End of article … Just kidding. (But it is kind of that simple.)

For example:

I went to a fantastic Catholic high school. But I was Lutheran. So I came home with lots of hard questions for my dad. At the end of a long day I might toss out a big one like “Why don’t we call Mary ‘Our Lady’?” and even though he was tired, he’d sit with me at the kitchen table, light a pipe, and we’d talk. I’d watch him blow smoke rings at the ceiling, his Adam’s apple jumping and his attempts always ending in a chuckle and a cough.

He’d listen to my question, and he’d sit with me. I don’t remember all of his answers. But I remember his presence. He was never afraid of my questions. He was never defensive, never getting ready with his correct answer while I was still talking. He never interrupted. I needed the security of his approval of me more than his correct answers.

There are times for relaying information, and speaking the truth in love is important, but when it comes to maintaining long-term trusting relationships with your kids, I assert my title again. Not every conversation needs to be a battle to “make them believe the right things.” 

A lady in one of our courses asked, “So I don’t need to bring it up every time?” I was so grateful for the question! Simply put? No! You don’t have to bring it up every time! Rather, taking the time to listen to your kids, really understand them and make them feel accepted, is the most important thing you can do.  

My dad was sharing his fundamental beliefs with me because I’d asked, but it was the Holy Spirit’s job to make it sink in and change me. Or not. Pop could not control that. So he simply sat with me and smoked his pipe, unafraid, even curious. 

Trust is built over time, through patience, with compassion, entrusting your kids to Jesus. They would (sometimes) like your answers, but when they offer a moment of connection, what they need most is your presence.

Because that’s how Jesus works with you! He is in it with us all the time, but even he doesn’t teach us lessons constantly! The patient Holy Spirit knows the best moments to speak into your heart. The rest of the time, you are simply caught up in the present life of the Holy Trinity who loves you and will never leave you comfortless. You are beloved.