And everyone else too!

I won’t leave you hanging. The essential soul work that every parent must do is to accept that everything that happens has a purpose in God’s good plan.

“God is so good,” St. Augustine says, “that in his hand even evil brings about good. He would never have permitted evil to occur if he had not, thanks to his perfect goodness, been able to use it.”

“Nothing in our lives happens haphazardly…. Everything that takes place against our will can only come from God’s will, his Providence, the order he has created, the permission he gives, and the laws he has established.”

Surrender is the secret to inner peace. Surrender to God’s will is the substance of joy. Faith that surrenders finds God everywhere:

“If God is the creator of heaven and earth” says Wilfrid Stinissen, “and the great director guiding the drama of the world and mankind, then I can encounter him everywhere. He pours out his love upon me in and through all that happens.”

“God does not need to be sought. He is everywhere. We can never escape him. Everything speaks of him. We do not need to go long distances or buy a compass to find the right way. God is in our everyday reality: our parents, our children, our body with its health and sickness, our gifts and limitations, our riches, our poverty, and our high or low IQ. As soon as we cease to resist all of this and open ourselves to accept God’s reality, we begin to live in his kingdom.”

The essential soul work that every parent must do is to surrender themselves, and their children, to God’s good and loving plan.

The alternative

Is to cling to control. To tell God how I want things to go. To tell God he’s cruel when my kids suffer.

The alternative is to resent the life I have — my spouse, my job, my kids — and pine away wishing for the life I should have had.  

Those roads do not lead to peace and joy. As long as we try to decide for ourselves where we will find God or what his will should be, we will be driven to control, to demand, to resent.

Faith sees through all this and penetrates to the substance of things. It enables us to see everything we encounter in a completely new way. Faith sees God’s good and loving will in and through everything. Through faith we have peace with God through Jesus, and through faith we have access to God’s presence, and the right to boast in the hope of the glory of God! (Romans 5:1-2).

Attending to reality

Faith attends to what’s really real. And what’s really real, is God’s powerful goodness. Christ’s death march to the cross had a purpose in God’s good plan. His unjust suffering and shameful death was incorporated into God’s perfect plan to save the whole world! Truly what men meant for evil, God used for good!

If God's death can be redeemed. If it can save the whole world and reveal the glorious love of God, then anything can — and will — be redeemed.

What does it mean for you?

Freedom. You do not have to be the perfect parent. Your kids do not need to be perfect either. God is at work for you and for them with ceaseless wisdom and love.

Practice fixing your attention on God’s goodness and you will increasingly find the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Even when your heart and mind are troubled, and the feelings of peace and joy are entirely absent. Even then, with a little practice in surrender, you’ll find that God always remains.

“So then, my dearly loved and longed for brothers and sisters, my joy and crown, in this manner stand firm in the Lord: Rejoice in the Lord always. Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

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