I’ll admit it. I feel guilty about my prayer life. I think “When was the last time I really prayed? I mean, really took time and intentionally spent it with God?” Surely if I just had a more intentional spiritual routine, I'd feel better about my relationship with God. Right!? 

And I’m a spiritual director, for crying out loud. I teach this stuff! I should know better. I should do better!

Maybe you feel the same "I-should-pray-more" weight? Maybe you share the nagging belief that your happiness depends on your performance for God? 

The question underneath the guilt

This week we’re wrapping up our first Heal & Deepen Your Relationship with God Intensive. We’ve spent the last month unpacking why we feel this way, and practicing taking our deep insecurities to Jesus.

Here’s what I’ve learned: I’m not alone in feeling like every spiritual discipline I’ve tried is an audition. Like prayer is a performance review. Like God is tapping his foot waiting for me to get my butt in gear before he can help me. 

Here’s what else I’ve learned. God doesn’t need my prayer. 

The reframe that transforms

Prayer is not for God. It's a gift for me.

The spiritual practices—prayer, scripture, silence, all of it—they're not ladders I climb to reach God. They're ways of opening my hands to receive what he's already giving. They're not about earning his presence. They're about noticing it.

This is what we do in our intensives. We spend four weeks dismantling the lies we tell ourselves about God and experiencing the truth. And then we discover how to build a rule of life — a sustainable plan for bringing our deepest questions to Jesus daily, so that we receive grace and support. Not guilt. 

Here’s what we’ve been hearing about this intensive

Jen said: “God has been inviting me to explore my personal core needs and motivations, and to reconsider how I assume God feels towards me, believing the truth that He delights in me. I recommend the intensive to anyone who needs help transforming their knowledge about God into a deeply felt and abiding experience of Him!”

And Kim told us, “This intensive gave me practices that helped me experience the Lord every day! This experiential knowing transformed me in ways I most needed right now! I would highly recommend taking the time to engage this Intensive for your own journey!”

Join us!? 

Here’s what I keep learning: the real discipline I need to practice is lowering my defenses and simply receiving Jesus’ love, forgiveness, and care. And the more I lower them, the more freedom I experience.

Jesus isn't waiting for me (or you) to get my act together. He's here. Right now. Inviting you to stop performing and start receiving.

What would it be like to spend one month learning how? You can! I’d love to see you at our next Intensive!

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