I’m afraid of losing relationships over disagreements, but when my identity is anchored in Jesus (not in other people) there’s less at stake. I can let go of them and rest on him. And see what happens!

“Mom! You can’t believe (insert political position)! Do you know where that will lead?! The only reasonable way to see this is (again, political position)!!”

Have you had this run-in with your teen, adult child, or friend? Are you thinking of one right now? How does that feel? 

My hands get shaky; my heart beats faster; I feel adrift! I’m afraid that this relationship will be ruined if we don’t agree right now!

May I encourage you that there’s less at stake right now than you might feel? Here’s why: you’re safe, solidly anchored in Jesus. And God isn’t done with you —  or them.

My security is not in being in the right group or knowing the right things. This really hit me this morning. Paul reassures Timothy, who is surrounded by people who don’t respect him or his ideas. He doesn’t say “Don’t worry, Timothy. You’re anchored in correct ideas.” Paul says, “I have no cause for shame, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me. “ (2 Tim 1:12b ESV)

Jesus is solid and working. He’s not done with me - or them. In the middle of a stormy run-in, I imagine checking my anchor chain. What is it attached to? Not my good arguments, not my love for my kid, or friend. “I know whom I have believed.” Jesus is my anchor, my security.

Let your mind and body accept that, as you’re tossed in the ideological storm, Jesus is not afraid, and that you and your kid are both his dear children. You can disagree, even fight, but there is no threat. You can pull on your anchor and feel how solidly you are tethered to the reality: Jesus can take care of you, and he is able to guard and guide everything (and everyone) for whom you feel responsible.

Chill and play

That kind of security - knowing I have a loving Father who approves of me — sets me free to play with ideas. It doesn’t have to be a risk to disagree. I could even be curious, asking sincere questions rather than going on the defensive, trying to secure myself. 

You can chill and play, knowing that Jesus is taking care of the rest. Know the truth; speak the truth; desperately love your kid or friend who holds dangerous ideas, but let Jesus be your anchor. See what happens! As Jesus said, when he woke up and calmed the storm, “Peace, be still.”