I’ve been frozen out. Have you? Loved ones have gone silent, been distant, as if the relationship we had suddenly froze in its tracks. I reach out for connection and I get Arctic stillness. But not peace.

I’ve also frozen people out. From inside, I give my excuses that “they’re not interested in reconciliation” or “they don’t even notice I’m ghosting them.” I’ve even gone along with the latest trends that jump immediately to cutting ties with painful connections. I get some quiet. But not peace.

Look, I get it, we humans hurt each other. We fear hurting and being hurt again. Sometimes our response is to freeze the other person out. But freezing someone out isn’t a solution. It’s more like putting them in a meat locker, so that I can preserve my bitterness, my fear, my unwillingness to forgive.

It’s especially hard when I am the one who’s been frozen out. I can’t force anyone to live at peace with me. I can’t force anyone to unfreeze their heart. (As much as I want to!) I can only turn my attention to Jesus and ask him to thaw my own heart.

Remember the sign of Aslan’s return in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe? The Witch has frozen the land, controlling it, keeping it close, securing her rule. Every child knows this is not how life should be. After cold seasons, the Earth warms back up with Spring. The Great Thaw makes the streams run and the birds sing again, and all the motley characters cavort in their unruly dance.

Jesus brings with him The Great Thaw. There is peace to be had. Peace that doesn’t always make sense. Peace that we don’t always feel the way we want to. But it is real peace, because he is the only one who can make peace.

He says,

“I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26 (ESV)

"Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight, At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more, When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death, And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again." - C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

I don’t want my heart to be a meatlocker. I want a warm, beating, free heart.

Join me in this prayer: “Lord, set me free from my desire to control others by freezing them out. Make my heart tender toward reconciliation and humble in the case of relationships which need to end. Forgive me for looking for peace where it can’t be found. Thank you that you never freeze me out. Thank you that your heart is always warm toward me. Give me patience to wait for that Great Thaw - the last day when you will melt all cold hearts, including mine. I love you, too. Amen.”

‍